Groping Pillow Dolls
by Mistress of Dreamz
Summary: Plain, simple and stupid. Sirius accuses, James touches, Lily yells... please read and review! [[Drabble]]


**--Groping Pillow Dolls--**

"Evans," said a voice.

"Black," Lily snapped.

"Don't take such a harsh tone with me… I just wanted to talk to you."

"About?" Lily asked, once again snapping.

"Well," Sirius said, digging around in his bag. "I was rummaging around in your drawers – two uses for the word at the moment – and I found… this." He held up a lacy black bra that looked like it had just gotten wet.

Lily gaped at him.

"How the sodding hell did you get your hands on that?" she shrieked, attempting to grab it.

Sirius held it above her head – out of reach.

"That's none of your concern," he said smoothly, smiling at her. "The point is… after much researching, we've come to conclude that this is not _water _– or any other liquidy substance" Sirius winked "– but it is _slime_. From the greasy hands and hair of _Snivellus_." He finished his sentence with a growl.

"Excuse me?" Lily exclaimed, once again making a vain attempt at grabbing her bra.

"Yes," Sirius said. He smirked; they were drawing a crowd. "I happen to know for a fact that Severus Snape _touched your boob_!" He roared the last three words just as Snape walked around the corner. He stopped dead.

Sirius looked around and saw James approaching.

"Oy! Prongs!" Sirius yelled over his shoulder to his marauder. "Guess what?"

"What?" James called, walking up to him.

"Evans is letting people grope her today – get your grope in, why don't you?"

James's face lit up in excitement and within a millisecond he was standing two centimeters from Lily's chest, his hand stretched out.

He grinned and placed his hand on her breast and groped.

And groped.

And groped.

Groped some more.

Pictured bragging about this moment to every boy in the loos.

Groped a bit more.

Groped.

And groped.

Stopped to flex his hand.

And groped.

"Severus touched my breast, Potter," Lily said flatly.

James screamed and backed away, staring at his hand in horror as if it was some odd mutant object.

Which James was sure it would turn into, seeing as he'd just touched Evans's breast – of which was touched – _groped _– by Snivellus.

He whipped out his wand and mumbled a stream of furious spells to sanitize his hand (which pained him to do just as he'd been able to grope Lily's breast). He even set fire to it.

"Ahhhh!" he screamed, waving his hand around wildly, trying to put out the flame.

Sirius came to aid and doused it out with water.

James breathed a sigh of relief.

Then he remembered the panic moment.

"YOU LET SNAPE GROPE YOU?" he screamed loudly, his words echoing like mad down the halls of Hogwarts. Lily could literally hear all the feet stop moving and talking silence as they heard his words.

"NO!" Lily exclaimed.

"Actually, she did, Prongs," Sirius said, leaning in to show James the bra.

James took it and sanitized it as well then stored it safely in his bag.

"I was kidding!" Lily exclaimed.

"Snape fondled you, Lily," Sirius said matter-of-factly, "just face the fact."

"He did not!" Lily protested.

"Then why was their slime on your bra?" James asked, patting his bag in reference to her silk undergarment.

"Snivellus slime," Sirius said to be clear.

"There wasn't slime – OR _Snivellus _slime – on my bra!" Lily said, stamping her foot in aggravation.

"I'm sure, Lily," James said, patting her shoulder.

"Don't _touch me, _Potter!"she growled, sounding like a ferocious tiger.

"Oh?" James said indignantly. "So you let Snape grope you – hell, you let me grope you – but you won't let me – a nice Gryffindor – pat your shoulder? That's harsh, Lily."

Sheglared at him.

"I just don't see how you'd let Snivellus grope you!"

"I DIDN'T!" Lily cried. Her hair was frizzing along with her temper.

"Unless…" James began, but stopped.

"'Unless' what, Prongs?" Sirius asked.

"Unless… unless that was _Snivelly's _bra that he stole from Evans… although that gives off some rather disgusting visuals."

"You think Snivellus wears a bra?" Sirius asked, perplexed. He glanced around the group of people that were surrounding him in search of Snape. He located him and he and James studied him. "I don't think so, mate… I think that's just fat."

Snape glared at them before stalking away.

"Notice he wasn't too quick in denying it – denying it at all," James said to Lily with a smirk.

Lily glowered.

"Will you shut your big gob, Potter?" she bit.

"Ooo, feisty," James said, grinning at his audience.

Lily began to rant and rave.

"I DID NOT LET SNAPE GROPE ME OR TOUCH ME IN ANY WAY! OCCASSIONALLY HE ACCIDENTALLY BRUSHES ME WHILE PASSING BY OR REACHING FOR SOMETHING BUT NEVER INTENTIONALLY!"

James had stuck his hand into his bag and was groping Lily's bra 'inconspicuously.'

"James, stop that," she said, noticing him fondling her bra.

"What?" he asked, withdrawing his hand quickly.

"You were touching my bra," she said flatly.

"No I wasn't."

"Then you were making plans on how you were going to strap that around a long pillow and add a pair of lace knickers with a silk slip and a robe and snog it all night."

James blinked.

"Possibly," he said.

"So _that's _what you shoved under your bed last night when I came in the room! A pillow doll-thing!" Sirius exclaimed, snapping his fingers in realization.

James blushed.

"No it wasn't," he growled in an undertone.

"Yeah," Sirius said. "It'd have to have been."

James threw an evil glare at Sirius which promptly shut him up.

Lily smirked.

"Just go and play with that, Potter," she said, turning around.

"No, wait, Lily!" James said, walking after her.

"Yes?" she asked, turning around sharply to face him.

"Can I grope you one more time?"

"No."

"Fine then."

Lily turned around and walked out of the room. James stuck his hand in his bag and pulled out her lacy black bra, holding it close to his face and breathing in the scent.

"I've got to get another pillow," he murmured.

* * *

**Author's Ramblings: **Hey! I hope you liked it! A simple drabble that I would have _never _had the idea for if it weren't for shiveringsmile (thanks!). It was plain, simple, and stupid. Please leave a review on your way out! 


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